Stand for something...fall for anything

Outrage over the shooting death of an unarmed African American teenager has sparked  demonstrations across the U.S. in support of justice for Trayvon Martin. While my heart goes out to his family and friends, this weekend’s demonstration in my hometown has me shaking my head. This time, although peaceful was the tone of the proceedings, the misguided attitudes and information that motivated the support of quite a few demonstrators is puzzling. What’s that adage? Stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. Well maybe it should be changed to stand for something that you are not ignorant of or you will fall for anything, including standing for causes that, with your support, have implications that you are not fully aware of. How can you say you want justice for a cause that you yourself are not educated about? How can you fight for justice for the premature ending of one human life and turn a blind eye to the same human lives that have been ended within your own community? How can you say that this is only a case of racism? Why is it that people  band together to support a cause when the perceived implications of the action are racially motivated but hate crimes committed at the hands of people of the same race go generally unnoticed, except by those who are affected personally? Why is it that support is extended to the causes that only seem to have the most salacious details?
Now, I myself marched for Trayvon and my idea of justice for him will only ever be achieved by the hands of God. I didn’t march only because I think that this case is one with only racist implications. Appearances can be deceiving and since I can’t read minds, my speculations on why someone may have been profiled for seeming suspicious behavior is irrelevant. I also didn’t only march in hopes that a man gets crucified for taking the life of another. That may sound strange, but let me explain. The buck doesn’t stop at Zimmerman, the man responsible for Trayvon’s death, being arrested. Although an arrest in this case would leave some satisfied that his or her efforts meant something, an arrest does not guarantee conviction. Then the question of what Zimmerman would be found guilty of in a court of law is yet another pandora’s box that I shall not open today. Realistically speaking, the American justice system can be extremely unfair, to put it lightly. Although I think that if  you commit a crime that you should be punished accordingly, punishment in my opinion is not going to be achieved by any court. For this reason, I take more comfort in saying when justice is served, it won’t be at the hand of a human or a jury of someone’s peers. Therefore, public humiliation and slandering of someone’s name (and you can argue with me all you want, slander is the only thing that can be accomplished by anyone who was not there and witnessed what happened) is not my goal. I do want Trayvon’s family to find comfort. It is my belief that his killer deserves punishment. I also believe that the breakdown of the system used to investigate this shooting was abominable. Shock and disgust over how things were handled the night of the shooting are high priorities on the reason that I marched. Granted, hindsight is always 20-20 and had things been handled differently, a slew of different outcomes could have resulted. But how can one put faith in the ideology that I have freedoms that are protected by law, when those appointed to uphold it aren’t actually doing that? My standpoint on this case is more focused on the implications of what the lack of action by law enforcement can actually cause. When blind eyes are turned, how can an imperfect form of justice even attempt to be served?
 However, my experience taught me that many of the people that I walked alongside, are ignorant of the facts surrounding the case. More than anything else, there are a host of issues and offenses that have occurred throughout American history that seemingly go unnoticed daily. Profiling isn’t new. It happens everyday but why aren’t there demonstrations being held until the problem ceases? Better yet, taking another life is wrong! Most, without any form of social pyschopathy, would agree. Why do we, as a people, not dedicate more time and involvement to everybody’s lives who have been stolen? What makes this case so different if the core values of humanity should dictate that we feel something every time that something happens that would violate another individual?  
The long and short of this is there’s nothing wrong with taking a stand for your beliefs. Just make sure that you are firm on the side of the issue for which you intend to take a stand. There’s nothing worse than having your credibility stolen by that of an inquiring mind. If you fight for what you think is right, take that stand, own it, and be able to defend it. Don’t rely on your best friends uncle’s co-worker’s cousin to incite a fire in you without fully investigating facts versus hearsay.

The Eliotte Geometric Shoe in Blonde

These Shoes are thebomb.com =)

Geometric printed calf hair bootie with leather trim and front lacing; hidden 3" stacked wedge heel; rubber sole. By 80%20
Sizing: Feels true to size
Width: Feels true to width
Pros: Stylish, Comfortable
Best Uses: Travel, Casual Wear
Describe Yourself: Stylish
View On Shoes: I'm Really Into Shoes
4out of 5
I really love these shoes. I know that wedges are comfortable but these shoes are EXTREMELY Comfy and stylish. The appear to be a sneaker-type of shoe but they are in fact a bootie with a hidden wedge.  Since they look like sneakers, they will give me the appeal of looking taller -- even though i love being 5'1 -- FUN SIZE =) They are definitely head turning EVERY time i wear them. I always get compliments on my shoe game so Im excited to have this added to the collection.

What i do not like is the leather shoe string that comes untied so easily. Unfortunately, one of the strings already popped and broke off on one of the shoes. Its not the biggest deal in the world but for me to wear the shoes only 2-3 times already is quite displeasing.  Just adjusting the shoe strings to make it fit is kinda a pain in the butt. Caution:: Leather shoe laces are extremely delicate!

Corporate Girl Swag

I remember it as clear as day.  During my Junior year of college I was going to so many engineering conferences and networking my pants off.  It was my goal since 19, to get into Corporate America!  By the time I was 21 I had an internship and secured my position in a large Corporation.  *FistPump*

One thing I always told myself was never lose my sense of personal style.  From the time I was a little nina to now, Papi always encouraged me to be myself and let my personality ~*Shine*~.  Mom always taught me how to be firm and dont let the opinion of others break me.  I was never fascinated by the boring white button ups and black slacks aspect of corporate culture.  I know theres set standards of looking like a professional, but who says I cant add A Touch of Mud, to it.  Thus, i developed my own Corporate Girl Swag.  You dont have to break the bank to look like a million bucks... or look like u work at a place thats worth well over that.  I just wanted to share with you some styles I put together that are ~*ME*~while maintaining that professional touch that Corporate America requires.


Fashion Night Out

         Early this Fall a few girl friends and I thought it would be terrific to explore The Big Apple's Fashion Night Out. Living in the Tri state area, there is such easy access to many of the East Coast's amazing cities..(& Being a NYer in Philly has been a struggle as I don't really think 215ers are as stylish.. but thats for another conversation...) Planning to roll out my 215 hunnies & meeting up with a few 585ers would turn my 1st FNO experience into a memorable experience. So Away on the MegaBus we went.
        There was a helpful website < fashionsnightout.com > that helped us see what hot spots to hit up and who was giving away what Awesome Free Gifts... we all love $Free.99.  On our radar was Macys, Bloomies, BetseyJohnson & whatever other trouble we can get ourselves into.  There were multiple Celeb appearances that just made our trip that much more enticing! 


The First Stop, Macy's
Ok, so Macy's was POPPIN.COM!!!  As soon as we walked in, there was music *Bummpppiinnn'*   Of course, knowing me & my chicas, we headed straight for the shoe department... Nothing like a mean shoe game ladies!   >>Shoe-icide 24-7<<  So we find the elevator and head up to the shoe floor.  There was complete pandemonium... so shoe shopping got put on pause so to scope the scene... To our discovery, there was a fashion show going on -- hosted by Americas Next Top Model's Ms. Jay Alexander! 
*OOhhh JaCkPoT!*
Up Next.... Bloomies! 
By far Bloomingdale's had the best FNO giveaways and deals.  It definitely let the Hype of 5th Ave speak for itself.  Every level in that store had something to offer.  Even though it was crowded .. then again, so was every store, they made sure customers were leaving happy campers.  Simply walking back to the elevator from the front entrance, I was able to snag some amazing Apricot scrub that was forcefully, but respectfully, given to me.  There were free makeovers being given and perfume samples out the ying-yang.. && thats just the 1st level.  Progressing upward, we were on the hunt for FNO 2011 T-shirts (to our discovery had already been Sold Out! =/ ) But what we DID find was a booklet full of events and give-aways.  There were free manicures, hair feathering, meet n' greets, etc.  The lines for everything were not OD as they had sooo much to offer.  After being initially disappointed from our Tshirt hunt, Bloomies turned out to be great.. waiting for the elevator to exit the premises and Philly's own QuestLove (from TheRoots) steps off getting ready to host another event Bloomies was putting on.  Bloomies was definitely TheBomb.Com!! 

All fun Nights must come to an End....
Getting caught up on the excitement of 5th Ave (and being pressed on time) i had to scratch my visit for Cupcakes & Champagne at the Betsey Johnson store.. We did however explore other options.. *I mean, come on.. it was 5th Ave.. theres TONS to explore* The Lacoste store was dope! They had live models in the windows and were giving out Cotton Candy!! (im sucha big kid,  i <3 CC).  Ann Taylor had an Amazing DJ spinning some great songs... they were passing out Champagne and Dropping it like it was hot like an 90s House Party! *must say, i couldve gotten tipsy if i stayed in that store too long*.  

The last stop of the adventures ended at Sunglass Hut.  As soon as we walked in, we were greeted with a glass of Champagne.. ;) They had hair feathering which was cool.. I guess gettin there so late, i got a piece of string with no big feathers.  But Hey I was feeling Nice & FNO was winding down.  Sunglass Hut was really poppin.  Also, Victoria's Secret Model, Chanel Iman was in the building taking pictures and doing meet & greets!
Pictured at right is My BFF4L, and Hair Stylist / Fashionista / soon to be Amazing Super Mode Hazel Alexandra (@La_Hazel) got an Amazing Shot. (shes gona kill me for that)


*Special thanks to Ms.Jocelyn Jones & Hazel Alexandra for the Photos =)  thanks chicas!*

S.E.X

“People say mind over matter
But I don't mind what they say
And it don't matter
This here celibacy thing
Is working on me...”
-Jill Scott

“When I first heard it I’m like ‘ooh so she knows how the hellz I feel! Glad I’m not alone’..lol”
- Anonymous (In reference to song lyrics)

Single life offers so much freedom! When it comes down to it, you really only have yourself to worry about. The “get up and go” lifestyle suits me. Not having to answer to anyone but myself is exhilarating but I also know all of my decisions, good or bad, ultimately have to be blamed on me. However, there are fair shares of “difficulties” that become added stresses as part of the single life.

I am far from one to judge another based on their lifestyle choices (Hey live, love, get it on, keep ‘em on the chase, dive right in, keep your walls higher than a maximum security prison…whatever makes you happy). But there comes a time when responsibility and thoughts of your future start to take over and smart choices today become the foundation for what you will have in life tomorrow. SEX, or the lack of it, is one of those decisions today that could totally affect the outcome of your future.

The decision to be sexually active should be one taken with care, and not driven solely by hormonal insanity (Most of you should be able to relate). Not only is sex an emotional experience but it can be a potentially dangerous physical experience. So why is it so fun? Am I right?

With African Americans being the front runners for the number of incidence of HIV infections in the U.S., celibacy has never looked so sweet. Numbers don’t lie, and according the CDC, 46 percent of all HIV infections were accounted by African Americans at the end of 2007. African American men accounted for 65 percent of new HIV diagnoses in 2006, 6 times higher than white men and 3 times higher than Hispanic men. African American women’s rate of diagnosis was 15 times higher than white women and 4 times higher than Hispanic women in 2006. Finally, death related to the contraction of HIV was the ninth leading cause of African Americans in 2006. *Slams on breaks* Crazy right?

You always hear generic figures thrown out in conversation about how deeply affected the community is. But seeing the numbers for myself, literally, made me sick to my stomach. Why is it that almost half of all cases are accounted for by members of the community with which I identify? More than that, why did it take a dry spell for me to really research the benefits of staying sexually inactive?

Mind you, I wrap it up and get tested like I’m a hypochondriac (Despite any objections, knowing really is a beautiful thing)! I’m disease free and proud of that fact. But I’ve lucked out! If we’re being honest, yeah I’ve slipped up and thought “It’s ok. We got tested together and he’s fine” only to find out that he was fine at the time that he was tested and subsequently decided to lay down with the greater Tri-State area after the fact. So risks are always there and maybe even you have lucked out too!

The point of it all?

Next time I feel that this “celibacy thing is working on me,” I will think to myself is a temporary pleasure worth a lifetime, maybe even a shortened lifetime? What if that condom breaks? What if he gets a nose bleed or has an open cut that I don’t see in the dark? Blood could get anywhere (I know I sound paranoid but at least it’s for a good cause, right?) I mean if I were to randomly pull 100 African Americans, 46 of them would be infected with HIV. That doesn’t even measure other communicable diseases. Of those 46 people, I can’t be confident that I would be choosing an unaffected person, considering, of those 100 people, the likelihood that all 100 have been recently tested and know their status is even more diminished. Don’t believe me? A study performed by the CDC in 2010 showed that 67 percent of African American men didn’t even know they were infected until after they were offered tests. I digress…

Sooooo Ladies and Gents, maybe instead of searching for a quick let off, maybe you should just sit back and get acquainted with yourself. After researching what I have, you can be confident that you won’t be the only single, free, frustrated, horny one out there.

Signed,
Single, Free, Frustrated, and Horny

The Frugal Fashionista


The Economy THRIVES on us as consumers.  The more we spend the more we are putting money in other peoples pockets instead of our OWN. Now days we all need to be frugal and start Ballin on a Budget --- Its called the “DIYs” or Do It Yourself!  Being frugal is not necessarily being cheap, it’s just watching how you spend.  From pampering to home improvements there’s TONS of ways to save money if you just took the time to do it.  My engineering education taught me to get things done in the most efficient and cheapest way possible….and like they say, if you want something done right you need to do it yourself.

Sally Hansen nail decals w/ SH No Chip top coat
 Pampering- Manis and Pedis are a must to keep you looking and feeling at your best whether its showing off your summer toes or fightin for hydrated skin when Old Man Winter comes knocking.  A mani and pedi can cost anywhere from $30++.. if you go weekly that’s $120 that youre just giving away… because as you know, that nail polish only stays on for 2-3 days then chips offs.
             The frugal fashionista would find ways do this herself.  Of course we can afford to get a mani and pedi every once in a while but there’s products for you to DIY. Sally Hansen has great products that can be found at Walmart or Target.  Don’t be afraid if your not the best at first. Practice makes perfect and you’ll have plenty of pesos in ur pocket.  =)
painted by UrsTruly - 1st time too !

Home Improvements- Moving into a new home will give you so many creative ideas to work with a space for decorating.  Painters can cost at least $100+ per hour. (maybe a lil less if you know Uncle Leroy n ‘em). Chances are you’re going to have to come out of pocket to buy the supplies (that can cost u at least $100 per room) and THEN pay someone else… *side eye*
            Painting isn’t that hard as long as you passed kindergarten and stayed in the lines… oh yah and don’t spill it on the hard wood floors or carpet (but they have spill plastic lining for that).  Find a friend to lend a helping hand.  If you end up doing it alone (as in my case) use it as some much needed alone time. Once you have the finished product you’ll feel much more accomplished that you DIY and even have some extra money to show for it ;)



The Gas Prices- These gas prices just keep climbing and soaring high.  Moving to a major city has forced me to trade in my 4 wheels for public transportation for consistent travel.  I find myself paying significantly less in gas and not filling up at the pump quite often.  If you don’t have the option of using public transportation then here are a few suggestions.
            DIY – Pump your gas yourself.  There is nothing wrong with going to the “SELF” side of the pump and getting out your car (unless u live in NJ).  Its at least 10cents cheaper per gallon.  Also, pay with cash.  The signs that are generally advertised are the prices you pay with cash.  So by the time you get to the pump, you gotta add 10cents more just to use the convenience of a credit card.  Don’t let that be the same station that your too lazy to pump your own gas because you just added 20cents to the price per gallon.  *Bummer* 

Those are just a few examples of balling on a budget.  Americans are becoming more frugal as the economy is trying to recover.  CNN.com has many more tips on their daily finance website.  Follow the link below for more creative ideas.
http://www.dailyfinance.com/savings-experiment/

Fabulosity: Exceptionally Good ---- How does this translate to your life?

Being Fabulous isn’t about wearing the latest trends, having the flawless hair, perfect make up and never having a chip on your nail polish. By definition, Fabulous means

something exceptionally good or unusual; marvelous superb.

Notice NO WHERE in the definition of Fabulous does it mention anything materialistic. The most exceptionally good thing anyone can do is to give back to others; being selfLESS.  There are so many things we take for granted on a daily basis that would mean so much to others. How many times have you ladies woke up in the morning and think :: uggghhhh what am I going to do with this hair of mine??:: throw it in a messy bun or throw a cap on ; whether its your fashionably loud fedora, sun hat, or casual polo cap with leather strap.  Have you ever taken a moment to Stop & Appreciate the struggle of the wild mane that sits on top of your head?   Probably not, because we take it for granted. 

Well this summer I took fabulousity to another level.  Not just to Rock Out in fashionable maxi dresses and exotic tribal pieces that were sooo in this season; But allowed me to change my summer look while giving someone the gift of hair restoration.

10 inches of braided hair
Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that accepts hair donations for children who have medical illness (childhood cancers) that can no longer grow hair on their own.  The minimum contribution of hair donation to make a wig is 10 inches –which I decided to contribute.  Anything less than10 inches that is donated is used for profit – basically selling your hair to businesses to create wigs and weaves.  This profit from selling the shorter length donate hair helps their efforts tremendously.  You even get a thank you certificate =) 


even though they spelled my name wrong.. i get where they were goin'
So the next time you decide to complain about your hair, just be grateful that you have the struggle to deal with… otherwise, head to LocksOfLove.org and contribute your hair to a marvelous cause. Its JUST Hair & it will Grow Back!  Promise – Ive donated twice in the past 5 years. 


Before & After