Messeca Colbee

Something about these shoes just spoke to me the first time I laid eyes on them... Whether it was a dreary day in the office that led me to search of summer shoes; yearning to be sun-kissed to that natural bronze skin or just another way to kill time... I fell in love.


The simplicity of the shoe speaks volumes! You can just the right summer outfit that takes a late night dinner out with the girls to going out for drinks. The comfort of wedges gives a whole new meaning to life. No need to wear sneakers (yuck!) to be comfortable. Now u can strut your stuff all day long while looking simplistically fabulous!

What's ur take on these shoes? Leave ur opinions. ;)


Can be found on karmaloop.com, piperlime.com, & of course, google!

Love Like a Woman, Date Like a Man

In life we’re told not to put all of our eggs in one basket. If you’re a single woman who isn’t in a committed relationship, why should dating be any different?

How many times have we gone out on a couple of dates and clicked with our ‘potential’ mate only to focus the majority, if not all, of our dating attention only on him?

The difference between men and women when it comes to dating is that most men consider a date simply that: a date.  Most likely if he’s dating you with no explicitly stated commitment, he’s dating other women as well.

As women we are instinctively inclined to invest ourselves emotionally, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes a problem when the investment isn’t reciprocated and we put all of our dating eggs into one hopeful basket .

Think of it this way, the more you date, the more you  learn  about yourself, your likes, dislikes, and you learn a lot about the opposite sex. Not to mention you get some male companionship, even if it only ends in friendship or a few free meals.

So how do you keep your feminine traits but date like a man? Consider these eight tips!

1. Change Your Way of Thinking
This is probably the most difficult but vital thing to do in order to enjoy dating. Stop thinking “marriage material” as soon as you meet a man, instead enjoy the company of interesting new people who may surprisingly share some commonalities. Think of a date as a time to share conversation, laughs, food, drinks, etc. Not to secretly plan the colors of your wedding.

2. Don’t Over-Analyze
Over-analyzing sometimes sabotages the feelings of simply going with the flow. As women we sometimes obsess over  every text message and conversation. Instead, just go with the flow and enjoy the date for what it is. Maybe it’ll lead to another date, maybe it won’t.

3. Don’t Worry About Potential In The Beginning
Is he financially stable? Does he love his mother? Will he make cute kids? Don’t worry about these things in the beginning. Enjoy your dates without the expectations of him becoming the father of your first child. Maybe you’ve looked at his nose and decided he won’t make cute kids; but so what? Maybe he’s funny and has other great qualities. If you rule him out in the beginning because he doesn’t fulfill your ‘Potentials Check-list’, you may miss out on a great guy, or at least a great date.

4. Don’t Give Too Much Too Soon
Giving too much can come in the forms of sex, domestic favors, etc. Basically don’t treat a situation as if it is a committed relationship if it’s not. As women we are naturally nurturers and givers. It’s okay to give, but don’t give too much of yourself without a commitment.

5. Don’t Expose Too Much Too Soon
On the first date, he shouldn’t know about your first boyfriend who cheated on you, why you have been searching for Mr. Right since college or intimate details about your family. Leave some conversation for future dates. If you expose too much too soon, there’s nothing left.

6. Treat Your Date Like A Friend Not A Potential Mate
Enjoy your date like you enjoy your time with a friend. In turn he’ll probably enjoy you. Why? Because you’re more open, fun, and not dressed in the facade that most of us subconsciously wear on first dates. Laugh, be yourself, and enjoy the company.

7. Know When To Let Go
If you’re dating someone then you really don’t have any ties to that person.
Know when to let go of someone you’re dating if it’s no longer fun, exciting, or even if you the relationship isn’t going in the direction you would like. Know when to let go. Men definitely have this skill mastered.

8. Have fun
Ultimately it’s about having fun and enjoying your life. Who says you don’t deserve the company of someone of the opposite sex to hang out with, if only as a date?

Mama (y Papi).. i Made it!

Lately Ive abandoned this blog... not really sharing all the techniques of grinding to get to the glamourous life.... well thats because inFACT i was walking the talk.  Over the past few months (since 01.01.11) i pushed really hard to set goals for myself to achieve. (thus this only being the 2nd blog of the year)

1. Job Promotion

2. Graduate School

3. Move to Center City, Philadelphia

Well, I can proudly say i Made IT! All within the 1st 6 months of the year.  Now, I've had many more goals but these 3 are pertinent to rising the bar for my future.  Each of these will help move my career along..  

When you Grind Hard, The Glamour *ShInEs* that much *Brighter* because YOU worked hard!

3 Basic Tips to help Rise to the The Top 

*Willingness to Learn: We come out of college with degrees and think we know it all because of some 50 minute lecture 3times/week plus lab for the past 4 years said so.. And we got the Diploma to prove it. Please hold.  Because experience is our best teacher.  Each situation in life varies but you can always find someone; parent,mentor, co-worker, or friend who can show you the ropes on a few things.  If you are always learning new things you will be engaged and want to take it to the next level. 

*Networking: Sometimes its not always about what you know but who you know.  You always need that first initial knowledge we gain from school but moving forward you need to build a network.  Have people in your circle that you know will vouch for you and can attest to your abilities, character, and work ethic. 

*Support System: Nothin in life comes easy.  We all face challenges and have to fall flat before we understand our purpose.  The #1 support comes from God.  "I can do all things through Christ whom Strengthens me" - Phillipians 4:13.  The in the flesh, we get our support from family & friends.  You have to keep your inner circle full of people closest to you who have the same values as you.  School, Career, waiting to start a family til your financially and emotionally stable.  These people play intricate roles for keeping us focused, on target with goals, listen to us vent, & be a shoulder to cry on and a person to call and yell in their ear with excitement.  S/o to my #YoungScholarsInc crew.  <3 love ya <3

Funky.Fre$h.Fly

Swag comes from within to have your own personal style.  Crusin' down the road this unintentional flavor of unique *~*Summer fun*~* was spread clean across my lap.  Adding accessories can make any ensemble  come to Life    

Woman's essentials: Leopard.Print, Betsey.Johnson&Blackberry

photo by Ms. Ijea Gwen

Who would've thunk that the whooole basis of this outfit was a simple summer khaki and white tee outfit.  However, the color of the accessories illuminate the outfit. If you anything about me.. iLOVE Leopard, Pink, & anything Betsey Johnson.   Takin the simplistic colors and adding my faves just give it that pizzazz.  

*phone: Blackberry*Nails: Self done using Sally Hansen's nail kits*

*Ring: Betsey Johnson*Leopard Sweater: Express*Swing Purse: Aldo*

Shawty got it goin ON ….. Or does She??

After continuously contemplating the desperate life long question “Why Am I Single?” I decided to do some interpersonal soul searching that helps me answer this question.  Many black woman are on that proud kick; come on ya’, you know what I’m talking bout, that “I got a car, crib, college degree, no kids. I’m Miss I N D E P E N D E N T.”  I was guilty of such actions, and still am to a certain extent, but at the end of the day… all those things don’t warm my sheets or keep me cuddled up at night.

            Realizing that being apart of the “Aint too proud to beg” movement wasn’t going to get me very far in the dating scene, I took a step back and dug deeper within.  On the surface, similar to many women, I have a lot going for myself… College Degree, Engineer, started working in Corporate American by the time I was 21, own Car, and Casa -->  translation “I Got IT Goin Onnnn!!” But after talking, dating, jonesin’, boolovin’ and still being single I had to question myself….   “Or Do I?”

            Initially questioning oneself can be quite the task… “I got it goin on, don’t I??”  It’s not necessarily the self accomplishments that make a woman attractive.  While obtaining goals shows determination, personal strength, and ambition, much more is needed to develop and allow a relationship to foster.  Specifically, is she and the *like-interest* aligned with each other? Is one of you family oriented while the other wants to climb the corporate ladder? Does one partner seek marriage and children while the other does not?  Do you both have the same faith practices (religion)?  The most crucial question of all before diving head over heels for someone is to determine if the relationship at hand is more for casual dating or are both parties seeking monogamy and a long term relationship?

            Looking further on a more interpersonal level, what are the qualities that I have that may not be attractive to men?  Do I have patience? Am I a hot head? Am I able to verbalize my feelings?  To what extent am I willing to change to make this relationship work?  Case in point, some women are ready to drop it all for a guy.  Conforming their entire entity and be the girl that will chase them down, show the attention that men need. *clears throat* && this is where the problem sets in.  Nowadays, women are just as busy and ambitious as any man trying to be the CEO of a company… so chasing and conforming to him isn’t going to happen.    But there must be some type of balance!
       So ladies, the next time you are ready to go IN on a dude saying "I Got IT Goin ON"  take 2 seconds to sit back and reflect on your total package.  Beauty is only skin deep, Accomplishments are only temporary until new goals are set, but your Character will last you a life time.....

Beauty's only skin deep...and we've barely scratched the surface

Constantly under scrutiny by family, friends, images in the media, co-workers, significant others…it’s a wonder how anyone would be able to honestly say that they have never received any negative feedback about the way they look.  Pressure to be the perfect size, shape and have curves in all the right places is not only impossible to achieve but exhausting to think about. Last time I checked perfection was unattainable but, for some, it seems to be the driving force behind crash diets, plastic surgery,  exhausting work outs that are dangerous and unhealthy , and  a general “you name it, I’ll try it” mentality all in the quest to achieve the unachievable. After many <3 to <3 discussions with some of my closest gal pals, the general feeling is we all have flaws but why not just praise the assets?

And by assets, that’s not limited to the physical. Because let’s face it, looks fade. And no one wants to be that girl. The one that everyone knows got through life based solely on looks and sex appeal. The one who is now washed up desperately seeking the acclaim that “she’s still got it.” Instead let’s focus on being whole beings, inside and out, including realistic and healthy images of ourselves and understanding every single unique characteristic and trait makes us…well, us.

One of my friends, in particular, is, by all definitions of the phrase, a knock out. She’s got an amazing figure, a beautiful face, a great head on her shoulders but an even better heart. However, she seems to suffer from “pretty girl syndrome…” You know what I’m talking about. That girl that so many others envy but when she looks in the mirror, all she sees is a flaw. Yep, that disease. So I sat her down just to ask her a few ?’s and by the end, I think we’ve not only cured the cancer but I may have created a monster *laughs quietly to myself*  The series of questioning began as “what’s your greatest asset?” quickly enveloping into “name the positives about your body” leading into her response “well I’m really just a plain Jane.” So I pointed out, most plain Jane’s I’ve ever talked to don’t describe themselves with such a healthy body image (i.e. big boobs, nice butt, small waist, full lips, and beautiful brown eyes) but the fact that she said that her heart was her greatest asset makes her that much more a beautiful person than any physical characteristic ever would.

Interview after interview, with countless women, some good friends, some random strangers (who didn’t run screaming from me) assets seem to be, in the mind of the young, something physical. Assets to those with life experience, my “fine wines,” as I so affectionately refer to them as, extend beyond the mirror and touch the values and character of who “we” are. The things that are important, the things that matter, the things no freak accident could disfigure or anyone could say you don’t look good in. Sooooo….the point of it all??

If you have drawn nothing else from this, take this away from today’s session…the person we are on the inside will always trump the person we look like on the outside. Hands down. Period. So maybe less time applying the Mac© lip gloss and a little more time giving back to your community, helping the next generation of young girls see the “pretty girl” in high school is NOT the only thing you can be…

So next time you’re asked what’s your greatest asset, what will you say

Listen to His Body ???

Communication plays a large role in our day to day activities.  It can make or break any relationship; whether its work, personal, or sexual.  Some people truly believe that what they say is an honest representation of how they feel.  Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but science thinks otherwise.  Here's some fun facts for me to paint you a picture with:

>> Out of Feelings and Attitudes
*7% is spoken.
*38% is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).
*55% is body language (including facial expressions)

Ok, so its looking like words dont mean crap when it comes to dealing with someone... But all of these "Communication Antics" contributes to the ungodly notorious SHADED.GREY.AREA. that we all try to avoid when dealing with a beau.  Being in my 20's, Im honestly enjoying the Single Life with all of my amazingly single (&& sexy) girls roaming all over the east coast to the midwest.  We always seem to vent about potential "Like-interest" and how we never know what guys are thinking.. But according to the rules of communication, we can and should be able to tell.. Right :/ ???. However this is NOT the case we cant always rely on these 3methods of madness aforementioned above.  So where exactly does this leave us??

Personally, Im not one to communicate crap.. i feel like id be wasting my breath and expect the male species to "JUST GET IT".. this also stems from my internal theory that guys dont have feelings... which is probably why i dont "communicate" my own. Guys can say they dont want to be in a relationship with someone but want to play house at the same time (thas another story for 1of my girls to discuss).  Then on the other side of the spectrum, theres the men who are classified as Dogs who speak the "i.love.u's" but want to be get with all your friends, and their friends too.  And this section, ladies & gentlemen, is where the mixed signals come into play which directly arouse the shaded grey region.  It would be easier if they all just kept it real... real meaning, let your actions and words align to override the basic BS that sooo many females fall for.  But according to the communication break down: "i [he] can show u better than i can tell u!"