Constantly under scrutiny by family, friends, images in the media, co-workers, significant others…it’s a wonder how anyone would be able to honestly say that they have never received any negative feedback about the way they look. Pressure to be the perfect size, shape and have curves in all the right places is not only impossible to achieve but exhausting to think about. Last time I checked perfection was unattainable but, for some, it seems to be the driving force behind crash diets, plastic surgery, exhausting work outs that are dangerous and unhealthy , and a general “you name it, I’ll try it” mentality all in the quest to achieve the unachievable. After many <3 to <3 discussions with some of my closest gal pals, the general feeling is we all have flaws but why not just praise the assets?
And by assets, that’s not limited to the physical. Because let’s face it, looks fade. And no one wants to be that girl. The one that everyone knows got through life based solely on looks and sex appeal. The one who is now washed up desperately seeking the acclaim that “she’s still got it.” Instead let’s focus on being whole beings, inside and out, including realistic and healthy images of ourselves and understanding every single unique characteristic and trait makes us…well, us.
One of my friends, in particular, is, by all definitions of the phrase, a knock out. She’s got an amazing figure, a beautiful face, a great head on her shoulders but an even better heart. However, she seems to suffer from “pretty girl syndrome…” You know what I’m talking about. That girl that so many others envy but when she looks in the mirror, all she sees is a flaw. Yep, that disease. So I sat her down just to ask her a few ?’s and by the end, I think we’ve not only cured the cancer but I may have created a monster *laughs quietly to myself* The series of questioning began as “what’s your greatest asset?” quickly enveloping into “name the positives about your body” leading into her response “well I’m really just a plain Jane.” So I pointed out, most plain Jane’s I’ve ever talked to don’t describe themselves with such a healthy body image (i.e. big boobs, nice butt, small waist, full lips, and beautiful brown eyes) but the fact that she said that her heart was her greatest asset makes her that much more a beautiful person than any physical characteristic ever would.
Interview after interview, with countless women, some good friends, some random strangers (who didn’t run screaming from me) assets seem to be, in the mind of the young, something physical. Assets to those with life experience, my “fine wines,” as I so affectionately refer to them as, extend beyond the mirror and touch the values and character of who “we” are. The things that are important, the things that matter, the things no freak accident could disfigure or anyone could say you don’t look good in. Sooooo….the point of it all??
If you have drawn nothing else from this, take this away from today’s session…the person we are on the inside will always trump the person we look like on the outside. Hands down. Period. So maybe less time applying the Mac© lip gloss and a little more time giving back to your community, helping the next generation of young girls see the “pretty girl” in high school is NOT the only thing you can be…
So next time you’re asked what’s your greatest asset, what will you say